if you take his cock out, you have to give him a bj. it's like giving a moose a muffin.
He's at the gym. He likes to get high and swim cause it makes him feel like a fish.
Boys can't fool me. I know "want to come up and meet my dogs?" is just a nondirect way of saying "come up and meet my penis".
Apparently I climbed into a dryer last night and refused to leave... There are pictures to prove it
reason #14 for loving my boobs...just got out of a 40mph over the limit speeding ticket thru a work zone. i dont think the cop knew i even had a face
you were leaning against the vending machine asking if there was a shower you could puke in.
I was scoping hash out of our weed jar with a spoon and I realized we need to buy actual utensils. This plastic shit is killing me I've broke 3 spoons
You probably don't remember. You were drunk and getting your tits drummed on like haitian bongos in a voodoo ritual.
He was drinking hot tub water because i refused to get him a glass of water...
Just pure bliss will emerge from Charles, my tranny bong.
Your mother liked my album on facebook that's only filled with drunk pictures. I don't know what to feel about this
A beef tasting is not what I needed while hungover
I was stopped at a light on my way home and a priest threw holy water on my car. Seems fitting after last night.
I know you want to take a pregnancy test, but could you wait until Sunday so it doesn't ruin our weekend
I promise it wsnt a penis when i put it in my mouth
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