I can die happy now, I have been kicked out of strip clubs on six different continents
what kind of dress can i wear to my high school reunion that says "even though i'm more successful than all of you i'm still up for sex"?
She said I walked up to the McDonalds counter and ordered just a cup full of pickles then proceeded to offer some to everyone in the place.
you just knocked on the window of the ambulance and waved at me as we drove away
Why are you seriouly talking to me about this when there naked pics of blake lively on the internet? Priorities man...
The last party at your house was a sex toy party...it's an obvious transition to baby shower
We were messing around at his place it was going fine until he said, "I'm going to cum, hand me the shot glass"
He wanted to drink hypnotic from my butt crack. I need to move out this state.
I woke up this morning and the search history on my phone says: "What is this castle in front of my house?"
my roommate woke me up with head. more awkward than it sounds.
I just came rly close to telling a dude that I want to chew on him and there should be an oil painting of his ass up in the louvre before I realized that isn't how flirting is supposed to go
Do you really want to know anything about the inner machinations of a furry's mind
She was hammered and showed her gay best mate a pic of my cock, his response was "I fucked the wrong brother"
On a side note apparently my brother is gay
The lady in the stall next to me just screamed "why are you so hairy!?" and "why can't you get any!?" to her vagina. WTF
Yeah well I fucked my ex on a sink last night soooo booty calls for us all
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