Guys who wear capris make me want to kill endangered species.
I really like him. That's why I'm having sex with someone else, so he doesnt think i'm a slut.
There is a guy standing at my bar right now wearing an affliction SUIT. I can't wait on him.
some girl just asked me how to spell unconscious. I really want to know what she was texting.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He's paying me $45 to clean his room and $55 if i find the oxy that he lost.
Will you come get her? She's trying to get the pizza guy into the bathtub.
I really think we need to get on this Charlie Sheen bandwagon
Its become more of a routine.. Whenever I get done eating and have left overs I just take it over to his house and throw it all over the walls and windows. Pay backs a bitch ehhhh
Wasted on the beach. There's children everywhere. A six year old girl even stood over me with her hands on her waist looking down on me as I was passing out by the water
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm soaked in champagne. I'm eating oatmeal from mcdonalds tonight was glorious
I don't have patience to seek someone out and try to decipher whether or not I think I'd want to actually have their dick in my face.
There is blood on the door to my room, I have to go to sleep
Willing booties have sort of a tractor beam for me.
Its my nipple ring piercing anniversary. We need to celebrate.
its like my accent is a device for a 100% chance of sex every time i leave the apartment. i love being english in this country.
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