how do you clear previous safari searches on an iPhone? i asked my brother to google something for me and "big penis" "empire chinese food" and "reverse cowgirl" popped up.
i think i got so emotional from a mix of getting my period and slapping the bag like five times
I mean I had a leg brace. It would have been irresponsible for me to be on top.
He doesn't fuck you and he's married, why do you keep letting him cum all over your stomach?
In the hopes he'll just put it in one day?
Just wrote the directions to get to the girls house im hooking up with on the back of my marriage certificate. Officially worst husband ever.
Using what I learned in my global terrorism class last semester to sneak booze onto my cruise. thanks college.
Last night he tried to put me in their garbage can and then sprayed me with a fire extinguisher in their kitchen...that house is always interesting
you called me and cried until i agreed to record a rap about our lives with you
Care to explain why there is sushi in the soap dish in the bathroom
I JUST FOUND AN INTERNATIONAL POLE DANCING CHAMPIONSHIP IN SPANISH
I love how when they see that I'm upset their initial response is to offer me ecstasy
He made me a flamingo drink and now I don't know why things are the way they are.
I've had my dick out in public way too much for someone my age...
I would throw a dart into the Olympic ceremony and fuck whoever it hit
Idk what's worse.... Yesterday not waking up in my bed or today waking up in the hello kitty gown.
Randomize
