He looks like Spencer from the game Dreamphone
My roommate just did the walk of shame in last nights corset back to our room to find her dad there. THATS why i go to school out of state.
This is not a drunk text right now. This is an i want your dick text. There is a difference.
My mom just used the words "ice cunt". It may be an interesting day afterall.
im not sure. I kicked him in the ear last night trying to kick a plastic cup off his head to prove I can kick higher than anyone.
Totally just met the chick getting nailed in our lobby last night. Should I bring it up?
it's been dubbed the summer of antibiotics
Thanks for buying me a sippy cup, its so pretty and everyone keeps telling me its probably the best gift anyone could have given me
We're at the hospital. She got a head rush and fell and now blood everywhere. Smoke the rest, just save her a bowl
No one suspects that a sweet girl who is excited about her anniversary with her bf just blew her partner at work in a communal area a few hours ago, so its cool.
Lest we forget our veterans. Also that two years ago I lost my virginity on this day in a hot tub. Go me for being the worst person on earth.
a girl walked up to me and asked if you were my brother. she shook her head and said 'im so sorry' when i said yes. what did you fucking do????????
While buying Plan B the lady at the counter looked at me and said hope you have a successful night as I walked away in shame
WHY THE FUCK DOES RICKY'S BROTHER GET AN ENTIRE POT OF PASTA FOR BEING SHIRTLESS AND ALL I GET IS ARRESTED?!
at the time fanning him with a dish tray seemed like a good idea but when we found it buried in the dirt the next morning i questioned our judgement. needless to say he still threw up even with the extra breeze.
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