you told everyone your name was brenda and you had the whole party chanting b-dawgg by the end of the night. successful.
i take joy in having bigger boobs than others
a pedometer??? no beatles?Steve jobs just took a dump in CA and it landed on my heart
but seriously ill do anyone in one of those hats with the earflaps.
Yo dude either Brian has herpes or he was jerking off to Web MD 'cause I just walked in on him
Stripper told me "sorry i'm not squezing my tits in your face much, I just had a kid and don't want to squirt you in the eye with milk. " in the middle of my lap dance
nope, if she's going to skank it up with ginge-a-saurus douche she deserves the silent treatment.
did you see me getting spanked by that lady cop who was a guy?
Thank god crabs can't live on your head. Thank god.
So the day after the 4th I'm sitting here drinking Molson and watching NHL free agent frenzy. From patriotic American to drunken Canadian in 24 hours flat. Booyah.
After the apocalypse all we'll have is vodka and twinkles.
Do you ever get a cramp in like, ONE labia?
Well, after a pitcher of beer, I set my ex on fire. It was a little fire, he's fine. How's your night?
He took me out to dinner to tell me we had to stop fucking so randomly
Honestly wish he pleased me as much as queso does
She is crazy bro, she'll kiss me after eating her ass but looses her fucking mind if I double dip a french fry in "our" ketchup!
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