tip of the day : never have sex with a full bladder. it WILL lead to complications and a very unhappy partner.
The camp director doesn't care if we drink and i'm running the rifle range. Someone is going to get sued.
his penis is PERFECT
I want to put it in a shoebox and place cottonbls around it to protect it from any harm
or knit it little hat
with your flexibility, and the size of my penis, amazing things are possible.
I woke up with my bra stapled to the ceiling, her dad was in the hallway winking at me. I was the less drunk of the bunch.
They kept trying to slap each other but they were poring beer onto their hands first referring to it as their baby powder
perfect irony that i'm celebrating international women's day with a yeast infection
WHO INVENTED HANGOVERS WHERE ARE MY CLOTHES
I think sneezing out coked up boogers onto your professor disqualifies you from the "I was sick" excuse
painting my nails while super high-drunk. Ended up painting my entire hands. Both.
New vibrator arrived today.
How was it?
Who are these wee mortals we call men?
It's my birthday, dammit, and I'm getting something for free. I don't care if it's just a drink at the bar.
YOU CAN GET THIS DICK FOR FREE
Not sure if I should ask if I can have my underwear back or just avoid that all together.
he was snoring so I have him a bj to wake him up and then told him he had to leave.
Santi's no longer allowed to buy booze in my lane. Last thing I need is a midlife crisis looking at his Id again.
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