If there's anything in this world better than hotboxing in the rain I haven't found it yet.
Agreed
thats it. im googling how to make you boobs smaller. this is getting out of control.
capt morgan doesn't hurt if you honestly believe it's golden flavored kool-aid.
Mom is telling us about the time she drank her own breast milk. Help.
My cleaning lady broke my bubbler. It's awkward between us now.
Why?
Because she knows I do drugs and I know she's a clumsy bitch.
So where are we on this whole, you write my paper...i do sexual favors situation?
i had to sit with a fan pointed directly to my vag for a good 10 minutes
The novelty of Nekkid Straight Roommate has faded.
No, the moral of my Oxford interview was "Never snort caffeine pills".
I was woke up by the fucking Star Spangled Banner this morning. I sat up in bed and put my hand over my naked heart. I was so confused
Did you go to church in Texas and sign me up?
You need southern Jesus
Ran up to the dollar store to get batteries for my vibrator. Happy Valentines Day!
If I could figure out how to do him with his wranglers on you would never see me again.
When we sit on the couch watching TV, she always cups her hand around my balls. Not sure if it's a sign of affection or a "power play" to remind me just how vulnerable I am if she chooses to make an aggressive squeeze.
YOU ATE THE FUCKING GOLDFISH!?
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