i'm forgoing the post-coitus cuddling sesh to ask u this :when he says he loves me and all i can think to say is either "cool" or "i love boning you," what do i do?
I'm at a crab and wine festival with my dad. He just introduced me as his girlfriend to all of his co-workers. I am so drunk I thought he was serious.
his penis looked like arnold from hey arnold. it was interesting.
How do the people at CVS not know your living in their bathroom?
She rolled over this morning and asked "did you refer to my vagina as splash mountain last night? "
You force fed me chocolate chips and avocados for 3 hours and kept asking me about my trip to sweden when I was 4.
Just made a Xanax and ginger ale smoothie. Oh Thursday you are good to me..
She tied her key to her bra the night before and couldn't get it off while trying to open the door this morning so she just took her bra off and let it tangle from the key while unlocking the door...the old Indian couple next door were shocked.
yesterday pre dick pic he said "no disrespect to your situation but i cant wait to get ahold of you again in the future" is this how people network??
As soon as we had sex he stopped opening doors for me. That wasn't an exchange. Im still a god damn princess
for not the first time in my life, my clothes are covered in piss and i'm standing in line waiting to buy pedialyte at a convenience store
I just want a guy who will spank me, fuck me, then take me to my office xmas party. I'd that too much to ask?
i just want to get drunk and cry and have sex with lots of men
I just texted my mom from a strip club.
he put a condom on for a handjob WTF
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