I told her i was enlisting in the air force tomorrow.....it was like the activation code to her vagina
first off, his name is dougie. strike one.
Bad behavior is like a petri dish that grows organically In my heart
Do you know of any good hiding spots in the Atlanta area?
She ran over a curb, took out a yard-sale sign and hit a fence before admitting to me that she may be losing her vision "a bit". Never letting grandma drive again.
also karaoke with swedish 7yr old and drunk 50yr old = best idea ever
I think I need a restraining order. I had 15 "selfies" of him on my camera roll......my phone has a lock code on it.
L'Shannah Tovah!
Whats that? My new stripper name?
It's national "dress up your pet day" come over. Drugs and dressed up cats..it's the shit dreams are made of.
Good, be his mentor. Like a tiny gay Yoda.
I walked out in my coconut bra, and that's when it all went downhill.
It was a glorious ass. He has amazing hands. I want to fuck him until he can't do math anymore.
We were high and the scary movies were scaring us too bad. Were all watching porn instead now
I feel like I got hit by a car. But a small car, like a Beetle or a Mini or something.
Here's a rundown of my night alone. Danced my ass off in the kitchen to FleetmacWood. Drank a little bit. Ordered $40 worth of Chinese food once the drinks kicked in. Picked up said Chinese in dirty sweatpants and slippers. #livinglife
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