Yeah, it was perfect until the end. Apparently women are super attracted to me until the sleeping with part.
found a dugout with weed in it in dad's car. decided to top up the weed compartment with salvia. for fun.
I'm giving you permission to use the abortion money to pay for your DUI.
You look just like Jennifer Aniston on food.
He measures volume by how much weed he can put in it and surface area by how many people can have sex in it.
I cant do that to my vagina yet. its my prize posession.
I might be a bit. I accidently started hot boxing the bathroom. I'm just gonna go with it.
It's like my uterus was saying, "hey, you're not pregnant, but imagine if you were!"
You rope them in with the looks and the boobs, and I'll bore them into submission with random trivia. We can't lose.
It's gotten to the point that when I close my eyes to cum all I see is candy crush
I need a drink and a shade of lipstick that will put the fear of God in a man's heart.
He was like, I wanna take it slow. I took off my bra And I was like, either we have sex now or you get out.
I have the WORST hangover. Pretty sure my liver fell out while taking a dump. THAT bad.
Either my apartment is haunted or I'm far more drunk than I thought
Only you would try street racing in a Volvo.
Randomize
