is it bad that the first thing i do when i get downstairs is go on farm town?
Katie Perry lied, you can't just wake up and shake the glitter off your clothes.
then the nurse gave me a bag with my personal belongings: phone, wallet. jacket, keys and a BTB burrito
relax...and go to your happy place, which probably has a lot of dicks
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
A baby just go on our party bus. What. The. Fuck.
I just spent the last 30 mins playing uplifting songs to my uterus, & there's no way I'm pregnant.
Third base with a 7ft basketball player last night. Fingers like a champ. I call him Edward Penishands.
I need Jameson.
Yea? How do you think I feel? Your job during the delivery is to keep that flask ready. The moment our kid pops out, I'm taking a shot.
I woke up to an alarm on my phone that said "Buy Plan B" and then the guy offered me a hairbrush... which seemed polite at the time
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He didn't even realize I was drunk. He probably just thought I loved Torchwood so much that I no longer knew how to use my thumbs
you take my contact solution?
drank it last night then filled it with brandy for the plane ride.
It all started with sending him a text about Spongebob. It escalated from there.
Her mom came down to the basement and took shots with us. She's now passed out in a wheel barrow. This party got weird
Would an open wound count as good sex or bad sex?
Why is the toilet broken? Why did I wake up naked in the shower, hugging a bath mat? WHY IS THE TOILET BROKEN?
Is it just clogged or something?
No! There are actual chunks of toilet on the floor.
Randomize