you're dressed like that and you're on the rag, that's false advertisment
I'm genuinely dissapointed that we didn't make any fat chicks cry
Either this is the best sandwich I've ever had, or my stomach is just relieved to have something in it that's not Red Bull or semen.
I maybe just had sex outside in broad daylight. At a state park. Please be proud.
Are we going out tonight?
My conscience says no but my vag says yes
I think that the winner of this years fantasy football league should get naming rights to you child
Dude. 21 days till I'm 21. It's the 21 day countdown. The 25 days of Christmas can suck my dick.
I'd say I'd distract him, but I lose my psychic powers when guys get girlfriends. And by psychic powers I mean taking off my top.
Ok cuz s'mores night just turned into pina colada after noon and it will be mas fun
Dude for real though, we gotta stop getting hammered and kissing gay guys.
He came to my Harry Potter marathon wearing a Hogwarts uniform. Of course I fucked him.
You asked to borrow my glasses for a moment. Then you whipped them at someone's head.
He's nice and all but I think I rather masturbate my way to happiness instead.
apparently ive been in a long term relationship for the past 1 1/2 years w/ out knowing
after we fucked i left the room and when i came back he was patting his dick whispering "prouda you lil guy...prouda you"
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