I'm talking handstands, sex in broad daylight, waking me up in the middle of the night. CRAZY
handstands? WTF?
she was a gymnast
go to hell.
I just heard a mom tell her toddler son "shut the fuck up. Don't ask me to buy you shit when i'm taking u to go see some fucking animals" welcome to the bronx.
So you honestly dont remember putting honey in your bong? You kept talking about how you wanted to become a bee and fly
Oh no, it isn't official until she poops.
sometimes i wish i could find another girl that loves my dick as much as she does
i feel like she has dreams of it being like a person saying hey lets go play
I just got off a plane from Mexico. At least 15 passengers dashed to the bathroom throughout the flight. Can you tell its spring break?
Whatever, its basically a crime against humanity to miss an andre power hour so she'll get what's coming to her.
It's really awkward/depressing when you are wearing heels larger than his dick
He deserves to hear about your Vagina Shrooms
At a Jewish lesbian wedding. I stick out like a sore, uncircumcised penis.
No. I'm drinking straight up vodka right now. With a pineapple in it.
That'll put some boobs in that bra.
Just be aware that next year I will probably try to seduce you to avoid going to the gym
I'm in jersey with marbles.. He's blasted about to fuck a manatee and his entire family is trying to stop it. His mother punched me in the chest for not trying hard enough
Taking care of drunk people fulfills my need to be a mother
He then used a box cutter I keep in my car to open the plan b. Who says chivalry is dead?
Randomize
