My number went up to seventeen today. I forgot to add my random hookup on a sailboat.
Wow, So this kid just walked into class, yak'd on his lab partner then runs out. Class is now cancelled. I gotta find this kid and Thank him.
No one wears that much makeup to work unless they are trying to fuck their boss, NO ONE
seriously when did my vagina become a soup kitchen for the poor
sorry can't. you know Saturday is the masturbating day for single sorority girls here.
I'm so glad I got to use the word gutterslut before 11:00a today.
She was just a sweet cute intern for us until I saw her naked in my bed the day after the Christmas party
she's just been through a whole lot lately. When the crazy starts leaking out we give her vodka and lock her in the room with all the pillows.
so that's what that room is for...
The entire state will know me by my boobs.
Never thought going to McDonald's alone at 3 AM would end with a blowjob outside some random girl's apartment...
Dude, you stalking his LINKEDIN profile will NOT affect your chances with him. We aren't 40...
Terrible idea I love it
What's a nice way of saying 'I wish I hadn't fucked you.'
My Boss was giving porn recommendations. I think I'm scarred for life.
No, I told him I was busy again this weekend. Eventually he’ll learn. Plus, absence makes the cock grow harder
Randomize
