fix you gags fore go to garrits please? !!!!!!!
What does that mean?
How when the cu k dos I yet u
Focus
Good luck! Who knows he might be a stallion in the bedroom! or it could be like having sex with a crayon.
So it looks like you may be an uncle real soon. Don't ask how I feel about it and don't text me back.
I'll have you know that I'm still picking duct tape residue off my wrist from sunday
If i had 4 hands right now is have booze in 3 of them and my cock in the other all because you went to denver. just sayin.
Siri just reminded me to pickup Plan B
Driving a mountain pass in the middle of a blizzard with the worst vodka gummybear hangover ever is gods way of telling me to keep the black-outing within a 15 mile radius to my house.
ecstacy + fleshlight = not all that upset about being newly single anymore
God he's so convenient, drugs, an parties all in one person. He's like the Walmart of delinquency.
I wore sunglasses to take a shower. I might be hungover.
It's wednesday. OF COURSE HE'S DRUNK.
Met a beautiful Irishman two nights in a row. I may never come back.
i need to get drunk because i'm an angry sober
I refuse to fake an orgasm. If I'm dating him, he better work for that shit.
I peed in my closet, which at the time looked like a sparkly bathroom...
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