Dude, my boy c***** and I hooked up with Asian sisters last night in the same room
Then I put on blue by Eiffel 65 and security showed up and yelled at us for being too loud. Also, they stopped fucking because no one can fuck to eiffel 65
And now we're talking about squeezing babies out of vaginas...
and parents always said I was only motivated by money. Pfft they forgot vodka.
i don't think it's normal to still be missing spring break.
Where is my rescue team. I keep hiding shit. And I'm trying to give out shots of olive oil
how was ur day?
this is strictly sexting don't make small talk.
Spent 200 bucks on a stripper for a good night hug. I give up.
I am listening to lecture and I can hear us in the background talking about anal beads.
Absolutely. I could drink and smoke that memory away in a matter of years at my current rate.
So just what does one wear when attending a sex toy party with ones mother-in-law?
Jeans and a nice top.
It's like fucking tetris in this bed
Condoms and Ice Cream, that's all we need.
THAT'S NOT NICE
NEITHER WAS PROMISING NOT TO TAKE MY SISTER'S VIRGINITY, THEN PROMPTLY DOING SO
My professor just asked for my number. Not fucking her till after finals though I learned my lesson last time.
i just woke up from a 4 hour nap, still drunk, to make mac n cheese.
Randomize
