the ugly redhead just came into the bar, wearing a sombrero...by herself... who is going to tell her that its not cool to throw themed parties when you're the only guest?
Its okay if i dont like him.his junk is just too good to resist.model penis,lame guy.
I miss Bob Barker.
Yeah, more like Douche Carey...
there is no way he can be that small
look on the bright side he'll over comepensate
Ok I can't be your drugdealer AND booty call AND friend. It just doesn't work that way
It's hard to believe so much cum came out of such a small penis.
I knew the only reason I bought a smartphone was to play "You're Havin My Baby" on the way to cvs to buy Plan B.
I found your bra. How you get it off the satellite dish is your problem.
She slapped his drink out of his hand to get him to leave the bar while he and I were having an intense debate about the lyrics to mmmbop
Oh my god what did I do. My hands are scraped, there are pickles on the floor, my clothes are wet, and I don't remember how I get here. Thank you.
I got a lap dance from a guy last night dressed as a school girl. Heels and all. His heels got stuck in my fish nets
I should start wearing my Batman shirt more often when I drink. Good things happen. All sorts of shit.
He was eating my ass and came up for air, I almost choked laughing because he had a toilet paper cling on stuck in his mustache
I'm honored that you could tear yourself away from your girlfriend's vagina long enough to text me.
He hand fed me trail mix then I watched the video of me the next morning. He was actually feeding me meow mix.....that drunk. I still have no regrets marrying him
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