I'm drive I can fine osifer
They have a pepper shaker for pot.
Matt is in the hospital again. the night nurse text me asking not to bring the boombox again. is it sad or awesome that they are starting to know us?
PS- I just stirred my mimosa with a slice of bacon
he was like the dessert in the all you can eat man buffet that has become my life.
Uh oh. Middle aged belly dancers. And they just got out swords. Shit is about to get real.
In reality u ask do u have beer at your house but what your really saying is will there be cock in my mouth
Apparently william has a "couch montage"...an album of facebook photos of himself on different couches in various states of happiness and despair. A heartwrenching journey through what was clearly a significant part of his life. I'd mock him more but I think the fact that I looked through it means he's already won
Remember when we pinky swore we'd never feel hungover alone...
He ate me out. IN THE MORNING. I love less attractive men.
Thats not how it works. You get the Rachel, and then Rachel kicks you out. Don't linger or try to cuddle, its just pathetic and makes me look down on you and your penis
The name of tonight's festivities is hereby decreed to be the "Honey Boo Boo Hootenanny".
I'm not trying to take your husband away from you, but can we have another 3way soon? I'm just desperate for good dick.
He told me to leave him behind and bury him in his batman pajamas. So two lessons I guess, don't give Tom whiskey and don't touch his daddy issues with a twenty nine and a half foot pole.
You ruined a cute cat because your lack of horniness
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