so remember that time i slept over and came home in the morning to realize i left my vibrator next to the faucet for parents and brothers to see? this is worse
guy in the car over is getting some terrible road head. he just gave me a thumbs down when he noticed i was watching.
You don't even understand how penises react in the cold. I'm like a 8 year old boy right now.
so would me posting the photos of the cock and coin jar incident be completely out of the question?
the only sentence i could make out from her was "i will wash these herpes away"
i just woke up reverse cowgirl on my couch. fully clothed. my laptop is on the floor sideways. blasting gay porn and lady gaga. pizza crust everywhere. goodmorning.
No. If you are gonna end this, you are gonna do it right. Not by getting bombed and falling on a strange penis. That was the old you.
Worst part of blacking out... Waking up and having to do the teeth check
It's a given that you're going to get peed on at a country concert
some girl at the bar told me my beard would tickle every inch of her body till she joy puked her face off.... that was so random and odd i just had to buy her a drink for having the guts to say it to me. WTF
how do you not remember that?! you winked at the bouncer and then proceeded to grind on him while chugging a beer. i don't know if i should be proud or embarrassed to be your friend
I can't thank you enough for the well-timed blowjob. What a huge improvement in my outlook on the day.
You have better ratings than Crest. Only 4/5 dentists recommend it. You have 8/9 recommendation for your blowjob skills.
Guess who isn't pregnant with a random sex ocean baby?!?!
"Because this is an ongoing legal matter" is how his morning after sex text began. So...
Randomize
