but the lizard people decide everything anyway
I may or may not have just visibly given him head in front of three young children and their mom. They all looked mortified.
I think we should make a list of challenges so that when stuff like that happens, we can check it off. Like a scavenger hunt for hoes.
I miss Michael Jackson so much sometimes
She's allergic to latex.
Lucky bastard.
We fucked to techno music while he wore shin guards... best sex ever.
I'm cheerleading for traffic. people are staring. Why am i the only high person on the way to class?
History professor is at the bar. Hurry! There's only so many A's he could give before it starts to look bad.
That boy needs some memories to take back home with him
what are you going as for halloween?
drunk, naked, & emotionally unstable
That tingly feeling you're experiencing in your lady parts is my mustache. All the ladies of America are waking up feeling the same thing. You're welcome.
Did you take the full box of samoas or do I not remember getting baked and eating half a box by myself?
Well he has a golden retriever set as his background so there's no way he was filming us having sex
I'm stuck in a tree and request your assistance ASAP
You're now part of the minority of friends who haven't seen my boobs.
You threw him in the dryer?
He went in of his own accord. Mumbled something about experiencing the blossoming of popcorn.
Randomize
