are we going to glenview for practice??
(3 hrs later) aids
where r u? what is story? im way too high right now
I just had unprotected sex with a stranger. but i did him wearing nothing but my pearls. so its classy.
I'm driving behind a lime green VW that has "Seniors '10!" shoe polished on the rear window. i haven't even seen her yet, but I do have a boner.
I wish the health center treadmills counted beers burned not calories
theres so much semen in my vacuum cleaner...
I made out with him with my retainers in. My drunken hook-ups get lazier and lazier.
she kept asking for a lobster dinner while she was crying. it was actually the most reasonable drunk chick request i've ever heard.
We're bowling witha frozen turkey in the hallway...ur missing out
Btw if you ever get emails that pretty much contain 'bwahhhhh jatkkvsweuo' it's safe to assume it's me.
He put on a roller derby documentary. It was either bore myself to death watching that or take off my dress. He was very appreciative.
it was good, but also weird. like, i came four times and then cried weird.
yea I went to the store high again.. I think we're having pie for dinner.
YOU BROUGHT HANDCUFFS TO THE WHITE ELEPHANT EXCHANGE AND DIDN'T TELL ME???
I've pulled 4 ticks off of me. This is the last time I suck dick in the wild.
I will not go because I am a man of my word and of my penis.
Randomize
