can you pick up eggs and chocolate sauce on your way home?
what kind of party is this?
the best kind ever
Just got the test results back. All clean, Now whose an idiot for going bareback in South America for 3 months straight.
I've been drunk so often this summer being sober is exciting
Im going to buy a thermometer. If its above 104 im going to the hospital if its under 104 im going to the bar
So just to get a feel for things...how prone are you to male Amish strippers...
They turned the water off again. Brushed my teeth with whats left from those pitchers of mojitos. So hung over i dont even care.
They got a 10 foot tall beach ball from the roof of a McDonalds. Get the fuck over here.
My way of showing team usa support, bronze: handy silver: bj gold: home run. God, I'm patriotic
Just had sex in the darkroom, while a class was going on ten feet away. I finally have a good sex story.
I have made the descision to sacrifice the first of my family's dogs that wakes me before noon tomorrow. I may quickly become the family outcast
It's hot as dicks out. Lets get drunk on the roof and make pterodactyl sounds at people.
Did we really just set fireworks off in a cemetery? Or was that a dream?
I think so and I think we were sober.
If you can't drink with the big boys, give up your beer and go back to the playpen
He smells like ham and a lifetime of poor choices
She sent me a thank you card for not fucking her boyfriend...
Randomize
