the women in the ladies room did not appreciate my innovation of turning a sink into a urinal
he proceeded to grab my vagina through my leggings in the middle of the dance floor. strangely enough I was okay with it
It's like if you got one of your titties chopped off...think of how much one would miss the other...that's how I feel when we're apart. A tit with no twin.
Let's just rave with boners that last for hours
Ok! I picked up an anti-celebratory bottle of champagne on the way to dinner for her going to rehab. That's how I feel about this...
If your relationships aren't working out because she doesn't have a penis THEN maybe you should give dudes another go
Invited the whole bar back to my place for an after party.....shit got real with everyone seeing dad drink moonshine like a champ.
The cleaning lady even cleaned my bong. I'm scared to open my sex toy drawer and see if and how she organized it
Turn on the Discovery Channel
Lets fuck to motorcycle gang fighting
I dunno. We kind of want to have a hippie communing with nature type break. But because we're such alcoholics I feel like we'll just be wasted the whole time in addition to hugging trees and shit
The front camera on the 5S is SO much better. This is great development for my international sexting.
He left for work so I drank pickle juice from his fridge
People try and tell me I never learn me lesson, well that's a bunch of crap. I asked for Monday off for Superbowl recovery based on my experience last year.
hooked up with him and then had a conversation with his ex about how we hate people who hook up with our exs...
I dunno about you, but I consider getting eaten out on the porch of a houseboat in -30c in a bridesmaids dress a northern right of passage
Randomize
