so i saw this homeless guy this morning yelling at a pay phone like chewbacca.
That's what you get for being in filth-adelphia.
you're bored at work aren't you?
I'm toying with the idea of beating off under my desk
i might have gotten away with it if "don't tase me bro!" wasn't the first thing i said when i rolled down my window.
i just funneled a beer through a mask n snorkel.. can you check that off my bucket list..
How are you going to be there by 9am?
Relax I always go to these conferences hung over
You say that like it's a positive quality
you know it's bad when you need sunglasses to open the refrigerator
i'm pretty sure i'm on the same train we took last friday..
what?how do you know?
it appears they have not cleaned up your vomit yet.
I just had a formal request to dress as a boyscout for my meeting with Legal on Friday. From Legal. Time to go home.
I asked the full emergency room who else was there because of homecoming and every single person raised their hand
Add caroling to the list of things we need to do in an elevator
All I vaguely remember from last night is getting up on that nice mahogany table and debating about squirrel's rights
I woke up to the sound of him repeatedly tapping out SOS in Morse Code using his hard cock.
He drops f bombs like every other word and he just gave me 127 shares of tmobile stock for free. I feel like I should pay him back in blow jobs or something.
Everything is a learning experience. Last night we learned why I'm not allowed to bring guys home from the bar....
Considering I drank for you last night, do you mind picking up your half of the hangover
Randomize
