remember when u banged some random dude twice in the back restaurant room of the bar i work at with customers still there? and woke up with an enormous highschool-sized hickey this morning? no big deal.
Granted, we were all high and wasted, but the fact that she thought we couldn't see her making out with the charles in charge lookalike bc she was holding up a pillow in front of them is a little ridiculous
Did he look more like 80s Charles in Charge or the old one that had that VH1 show? It makes a difference.
Maybe you should go over there and lead him on and reach down his pants like he's about to get some and yank his balls.
That's the best idea I've heard all day.
My last google search was "mavis beacon techs tping" Thank god google auto corrects bc otherwise i wouldn't know that i drunk-type 13 words a minute.
still drunk. talking shit to the doc drawing my blood. this has no upside
She needs to learn she only fits into our friendship as a DD.
I swear this guy grew up in land without leagues. someone should inform him he's way out of mine
Just picture a bunch of Abraham Lincolns having an orgy.
you inspire me to be a worse person
I feel like a blind man at a water park. Every step has the potential to be either fatal or lead to accidental, but totally enjoyable, sex.
It's my 3rd annual 21st birthday party. Disney themed. There will be blood.
How many times do I have to tell you I'm not bisexual.
.....unless there is alcohol involved
as a self proclaimed hoe im ok with a lotta things but that is not fucking one of them
Can I come over?
Sorry I gave up dick for lent. Hit me up on Good Friday tho
So someone just asked us for our kidneys?!?
Randomize
