so i asked him why he doesn't wanna see me anymore and he said he was questioning his sexuality. cool.
In Vegas, have spent the last 48 hours wearing a viking helmet and fanny pack. I consider this to be a career high since drinking is my career
Myspace is for pedophiles and tweakers in the 818 trying to hook up. I always forget theres music there too
i just found out that washing ur bong in the dishwasher works. its been a productive day
I cannot believe you needed a note to remind yourself to ask me about the fourteen sleeping Mexicans.
I can get orange kush...
GET IT NOW! WHY IS THERE A DOT DOT DOT?!
I get way too drunk to be trusted with family heirlooms
Can you explain to me the broken disco ball in my front yard?
Im down. Even tho your nick name intimidates my vagina.
Omg.....I raised my camera to take a pic at this presentation, and I wanted to zoom in, so I swiped my phone to the left and up pops my dick pic from last night.
I can't bring myself to turn around to see if pple saw it.
He came over and said its legs day so put them in the air! Fucked me for 30 minutes and said he had dinner reservations to go to. Well i just ran into him and his friends hammered at Taco Bell
Just took a piss in some random bushes in a traffic jam and had to sprint back to the car. I'm a boss.
That Kevin guy is something else...His penis is fucking glorious. And he has a way with words. If he lived here I'd be the conductor of the fuck caboose. I mean literally I would never want to get off that thing.
I've decided to become a librarian so I can drunkenly quote The Mummy and have it be legit.
Remember when we got high off our ass and you talked me into running in place then punched me in the face and said it was a wall?
Ya, you were bleeding for an hour and a half
Randomize
