whats a more ladylike way to say "fuck me on your lunch break"?
She had to put it in. I told her I was too drunk and didnt trust myself to not put it in her ass.
You say "I'm in class" like it matters... I'm getting a little tired of having to smoke by myself at 4:20 because you're in class.
so I made out with a lobbyist last night. im officially a resident of D.C
You slept with a red coat way too close to independence day. It's just very unpatriotic.
I almost lit my balls on fire tonight.
he made a bon jovi sex playlist and started crying when "i'll be there" came on... how was your night?
Like for real, is your junk ok? I have to look after my investments.
yeah...well...life isn't all puppies & lap dances
The spirit of America is being too hungover to celebrate America right?
I'm really tired of this guy walking his chicken in my neighborhood.
2015 is the year I FINALLY ALMOST had enough dick to satisfy me.
Pretty penis doesn't make up for awkward eye contact.
IF THE SUNS NOT EVEN OUT THEN WHY IS HIS DICK OUT WTF
Don’t listen to me, I’m walking around wearing nothing but rave bracelets and headphones shouting “yeeeeaaahhhhhh”
Randomize
