If a woman tells you she has been pink socked...don't move forward with her.
I give him blow jobs while he watches sports.. how am I not his gf yet??
Most the numbers in my phone are mistakes. It's a virtual graveyard of people I should never pick up for.
it's a little hard to watch the basketball games with my family considering they keep cheering for the guy that i had a one night stand with...
I now beleive the Trojan Ecstasy ad "feels like nothing's there". They forgot to add "...cause the condom broke."
I almost puked on my graduation application. perfect.
Everytime the frat boy touches his bro's ass after making a cup take a drink
Haha yeah this costume is worse than I imagined. I look more like a gothic hooker who caters specifically to creepy men with doll fetishes
When he sent me a picture, I swear my vag frowned. That tiny.
I definitely pole-danced a parking meter outside a party last night. The cheering was appreciated.
Awk. Hanging with her while messaging her ex about sex injuries he gave me
come over we're fb stalking guys who were dressed as bananas last night because i can't remember which one i blew
Riding your boyfriend's dick for an hour then waitressing for 8 hours. Would not recommend.
Why can't you just be normal and get dick pics from your exes like everyone else?
they are cutting me off...little do they know I am making a 75 yr old man i named Herbert buy me drinks now...no shame at 11 am...
Randomize
