The problem is he wears abercrombie jeans like there's nothing wrong with it
apparently the officer said last night, "son, why don't you do yourself a favor and spread your legs so you don't keep vomiting on them". why can't I remember those nights?!
His facebook says he is a fan of "underwater handjobs"
official worst smell ever. a used condom that has gone through the dryer.
She had to put it in. I told her I was too drunk and didnt trust myself to not put it in her ass.
there is a dude in the bar with no arms getting fed beers by his friends
we got 12 live crabs and then we got really stoned and know we're playing with the crabs. thats nom watermellon nom. now i'm plaing with a crap whos such a gentleman
whatever. i don't care. i just want to be drunk wrapped in an american flag.
Would be fun, plus since its in public I'll keep my penis in my pants
trying to figure out why the only thing in our freezer is an expired loaf of bread, a white t shirt, and a receipt from taco bell for 37.50 from last Friday
i hope you're proud of yourself! i just had to ask my boss to put ointment on the rugburn on my back. clothes hurt!
Giiiirl. Just had a BM that almost killed me.
woke up and somehow me leather belt got torn in half. either we partied with the hulk or some chick just could not wait to see my dick. probably the former tho
Honestly, I want an afternoon of mild abuse, mixed with face fucking and general molestation that turns in love making, laughter and cinnamon toast crunch naked in bed.
Are you in a position where you can bring me some nachos?
Randomize
