we made margaritas with slurpies from 7-11 and beer.
just heard some guy walking down the street say "butt sex in the sun"
go get him tiger.
I want to tell you about my weekend in person so I can see your look of judgement and disgust.
Oh my god, I am the best RA ever. I'm teaching my freshman girls how to deep throat on bananas as a group bonding activity. I'm making the religious ones eat them for potassium.
Although I wish I was out drinking, this cough syrup has me slightly more optimistic than usual.. I heavily debating trying to find mystical creatures and selling them to rich people as pets
It's like all my brain cells are screaming at me.
I'm dying.
Well that's the thing. He does want to take me out... To a strip club. I see this going down a very bad road but you know I'm going to go.
Well my ankle is fucked up, everytime it pops I have a reminder of $200. Jager bomb night and the day we began to rebuild our friendship.
I just remembered that we had an in-depth conversation about how it was too stressful to wear pants.
I just ate cream cheese straight for my dog
I'm afraid to ask what that means
This whole having a new phone thing is like starting all over in life with a clean slate! (My old text convos are gone)
New phone new life!
I just made a dick pic collage. Let me just tell you,there is no comparison to the latest!
you bet i'm gonna rock his four-foot-two world.
How was your night?
Fell down a flight of stairs. Went to a sex dungeon. Was approached by a man in a leather harness.
just showered sitting down cuz standing seemed like too much work, thursdays need to stop making me their bitch.
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