I told him he can't put it there till we're exclusive. That's totally The Relationship Hole.
So I called her out for all the gossip she does and she's like "you do the same, bitch"
So I was like "Im classy like the Countess, youre just a bitch like Kim."
Kudos on the Interstate Housewife metaphor.
i gave him the "yep, i was your girfriend's collegiate lesbian sex story" head nod
i told her she would have to blow me everytime we lost a game of beer pong, she never noticed i purposely hit our opponents in the face every other shot
Drunk puking in my bathtub has plugged it up for the third time this year. I hate these calls to my landlord.
I'll just have to do enough fangirling for the both of us. Nipples engaged.
Just saw a guy with two baby turtles sneaking into the building
No. I either had a 6 minute orgasm or I had so many I lost count. I'm still not sure.
Send me a pic of your kids to remind me why I have morals.
It was all fun and games until she said "you're so pretty I wanna punch you in the face" and the proceeded to punch her in the face
I got asked to "be the filling in a man sandwich." You don't get to pick the club again. EVER.
Had a rough day but my boyfriend made that all better by going down on me while letting me watch Top Gear... I'm buying the engagement ring tomorrow
its a recording of you guys having sex?!
its actually 30 minutes of him begging and then 2 minutes of sex.
I wiped my ass with a McDonalds wrapper. I've hit an all time low. Sorry for my impatience
How many weight watcher activity points do you think sex is worth?
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