where does the pee come out of this thing
i guess i called my mom last night. she wasnt nearly as impressed with what we did in the bathroom as i was
also, I just found three random bruises on my knee. probably from when I was velcrod to the stairs
I WALKED myself out of breath. And I'm lost I'm a Tim Hortons parking lot. That's how hungover I am.
Nobody knows who the hobo or dude who whipped out his balls is
Her eyebrows were plucked so thin that she had to have gonorrhea. Clean girls just don't pluck that way
That boy has a whole ocean of crazy lying just beneath the surface waiting to rise up, he's like the tar sands of crazy
I need a hug and tequila
I'm sitting next to a milk crate full of tequila right now
This is why we need to live in the same city again
Congrats. You made me have an orgasm in Starbucks.
She just called at a dance party, and you stopped mid puke to join. Another successful night.
Anyway, all that to say that tiny penises are a hassle.
I'm the kind of gay who carries his anxiety medication in case the club scene gets too fierce
I sucked his dick by a creek, how romantic.
I just took a picture of Austin's dick wearing a hat. Except its not a hat it's a DayQuil cap.
Apparently I gave a guy a hand job on the dance floor. ON THE DANCE FLOOR.
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