I'm going to go hang out on a giant wooden pirate ship for 5 days.
Is your delayed response due to the massive amount of judging going on?
i don't think you understand, blowjobs are like flowers for guys.
I hit him with a car. Nothing says I hate you more than backing into someone with a fucking car.
slut bingo starts in ten minutes ...
I think I need to donate blood to see if I have Hepatitis. Again.
He recognized me by my ass from about 15 yards away. I must have a REALLY nice ass.
That girl next to you randomly said that she fits into a queen sized pillow case
WTF.
He went to WalMart with $30 and came back with a watch, a basketball and an engagement ring.
It was weird, because he kept shaking his head like he was motorboating me...but on my vagina.
Just yelled out loud for someone to buy me a drink, 30 seconds later random guy on grindr asks what I'm drinking.
There's a 98% chance your drink will taste like rohypnol
It happened to me once. But i washed off in a duck pond and walked home naked.
You know you're a heffer when you discover chocolate frosting on your smoking apparatus
And then the templeton police were like "oh I remember her, yeah the blue haired girl that we picked up cause she was passed out drunk on the side of the road"
I just googled "can they trace a vibrator back to you" so that' s how my life it going.
Randomize
