Well to be completely honest its more of a 'i wanna do things to you that your parents would not enjoy hearing about' mood
what's Bukake?
a bad idea.
It's always a surprise to see what songs I shazamed and downloaded last night while we were drunk at the bar.
ohhh no, absolutely not. i am waaayyy too superstitious to have sex with the self-proclaimed "baby-maker" on father's day...
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They just caught the deck on fire and I ran out with cups off the beer pong table filled with water from the toilet. It was the closest water source.
Sorry, they don't make maternity Power Ranger suits...
Oh god he's like Julia Roberts in pretty woman... And I'm the one who's gotta make a lady out of him.
Just found dollar bills in my sheets. What part of the weekend am I forgetting?
She left her panties here. They looked SOOO much smaller last night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
O was like, nah, fuck 50-50. My version of bi is that i'm 80% gay, 20% drug-addled decisions. Apparently he's straight on hallucinogens.
Road head absolutely translates. That's the beauty of road head... It's so portable!
Once again, your first date sounds like something of an epic. Odysseus' Quest for Fourth Base.
There's a bull to ride and dancing on the bar is encouraged. This is my heaven. And this is why god made leopard tube tops.
Were not even through the second month of the year and I potentially may have torpedoed a marriage...
Did you get drunk between now and two texts ago?
Randomize