we did it on the carpet and she just yells out "OH. MY PSORIASIS".
I don't know what part of vegas I'm in but its definately the wrong part
We uncovered another pile of vomit after you left. And i am not talking about the one in the vase
I did nothing besides stay sober all night, I walked home to find max naked knocking cups off the counter with his cock lol
I accidentally got a lemon stuck in your bong. I was trying to make it taste good. Sorry
What kind of a birthday party isn't a get drunk and ruin everything party
he busted into the room with single cheese slices and started yelling "THROW SOME CHEESE ON THAT BITCH"
What's Spanish for "I shouldn't have worn these underwear to work?"
It's amazing the amount I can accomplish with a glass of wine in my hand.
Stop getting drunk and running away. I can'tell chase you. Iim in heels and have big boobs. Running is a bad idea for me.
I should've left when he told me that he only smoked crack by accident once
Tomorrow is my bachelor party. If I die tomorrow, please know I graded you a "check" as a sister. "Check-minus" when you got mouthy.
I'm doing my accounting homework with my vibrator. Guess whose numbers are balanced on the financial statement? This ladys!
I don't think you understand I turned down McDonalds for you.
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
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