i'm listening to "transmissions" by The Tea Party from like '97 and waxing my legs. fuck i'm awesome in my alone time
I got a lot accomplished today, and the day is still young! I built a fort, hot boxed a fort, had a tea party in a fort, and now realizing how high I am.
Why would vodka do this to me? I've always been loyal
He was singing Justin Beiber while we did it. I love secure Spanish men
This could help me cancel out guys. First 4 that text me get to stay in the loop. And the last one gets the boot. We'll do this til there's only one man standing
I think that the jello shots in bowls is where it all went wrong.
We got kicked out of the ice rink last night for drinking and checking strangers... but they let us keep the beer
Oh I know babe. You're shining beacon of adult responsibility. That's why I go down on you.
I go down on you because abs
LMAO I like how "don't worry I'll bring chasers" is your way of assuring things will be ok
He had a small dick anyway. I'm glad I barfed on it.
I plan on getting so intoxicated, that I think it's MY own birthday
Can I play this game?
Well Jon got a DUI sleeping in the back seat so I thought the trunk was safer. BUT WHO CARES WHY JUSE PLEASE COME LET ME OUT!
I promise I won't bug you anymore, I just need the following things at your convenience but preferably soon: my earrings, cup, and panties. Thanks. Good talk.
The problem with adderall is that no matter what I'm doing, I feel like it was the most productive thing I've EVER done.
Did you alphabetize our spice cupboard again?
...You'll thank me later.
She shouldn’t care what consenting adults do behind closed doors
You do realize it was her husband you were hooking up with behind that door, right?
Randomize
