All I remember is yelling at him to admit he liked Bon Jovi, then accusing him of giving love a bad name.
my being single is dangerous.
I just realized I use Twitter to keep of track of when I get drunk.
Had a couple pieces of pizza for breakfast...suck on that Jamie Oliver.
bro i finally banged her last night on our basement couch
I'm at this frat party right now and yelled "my little 16 year old brother finally lost his virginity." They gave you a standing ovation
the room spins SO much faster in panama
Warning: at some point today you will probably see several pics of me 69-ing a blow up turtle show up on facebook. Just disregard them.
They're letting me teach a freshman-laden class now. This university needs better background checks.
We're at the hospital. She got a head rush and fell and now blood everywhere. Smoke the rest, just save her a bowl
Things are burning & the world smells of peanut butter. It's beautiful.
javelin tossed one of my crutches in to the mosh pit at the concert, hit some dude in the temple hahah fuck him he sucks
We hooked up and then we watched game of thrones while he fed me chocolate. I don't see how our benafriendship is a bad thing.
Is it weird that i want a guy to ask me to homecoming by spelling it out in meatballs?
THATS VERY WEIRD
We damn well better have a snow day tomorrow. We just broke out the rum.
So what happened at girls night? My roomate found me passed out locked out on the front steps of the house and it was raining. Yes low moment
Randomize
