you puked in the cab and all over yourself and tried to convince the cabby it was there already when he got upset... then you puked again. not too convincing are you
Now I'm watching The History of Sex on the History Channel. They're talking about how repressed the 30s were. I think I understand why grandma is such an angry person.
The working title of my paper? "Tailgating: A Big Clusterfuck of Kids Who Dont Actually Give a Shit about Football"
I just discovered cum stains from two different guys on my wall. I don't know whether to be proud or horrified.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just picture a dyson vacuum with razor blades. That's how it felt.
they fed me a peach. i was laying on the floor telling them how beautiful they were
There are only families here. I'm at the bar alone double fisting drinks. You cannot get any more approachable than I am now.
If you can get laid in a rudolph onesie you are doing something right my friend.
Oh, and I'm only keeping her around till spring. Doing the hunt for cunt is too tough in 12" of snow.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Some idiot from high school is in the hospital for bonging three beers up his ass
He should have died. Natural selection.
He would drink pee if it was in a beer can
The only people in the library at 5:00 on the friday after finals are homeless or pre-med.
When I was drunk texting him about three ways he seemed more interested in just seeing me. And that's when I knew something was wrong with him
In 2009 his now husband dressed in a sailor onesie and heels for pride so he needs to REMEMBER how to party
Stop talking and go back to bed. You're in the kitchen in your underwear and slept in your car.
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