You can't wash away shame.
I can try.
Let's start a violent farting gang. We can do walkbys.
how do we leave politely?
Tell them I'm going into labor. I will spill a beer and tell them m water broke.
I guess calling a coworker a lesbian sea cow is some kind of violation.
Its like the long john silvers of colleges, I wouldnt even go there to use the bathroom
please come get me his dick is out. i'm sitting on his couch and his dick is out. come now
Jello bowls to the fucking face, that or ramen spiked with liq. Those are the only options in this house.
We've reached the point in our fuck buddy relationship where we are playing words with friends. This is too intimate.
I know it's early but when you wake up can you please validate my life and tell me I'm not just a drunk idiot.
I'm gonna take off my shirt and spin it around my head like petey Pablo so u can find us
Life achievement unlocked: I just ate a Slim Jim "Lady and the Tramp" style with a guy in a bar.
the universe is starting to freak me out.. ive now had sex with 3 people who were born on the same day..
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns
It's slightly odd going to a booty call during morning rush hour with everyone else going to work.
Saddle up bitches, we're going to an orgy.
Randomize
