why is allison so mad at me??
me and her walked into dans and you yelled "hello my dear alli, you're looking mighty overweight today!".
crap..
The bartender just started bringing me gin and tonic in a pint glass to save himself trips...
We're on a cock hunt. Everything is fair game.
After last night, I've decided I will now bang only men who professionally ride things for a living. I will accept jockeys, cowboys, bullriders, and pro bicyclists who lie and say they're bullriders.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
by 11 am we'd already been drunk twice. how much lower can you go?
Plus I'm on the toilet and I can only describe it as if someone had kicked the cap off of a fire hydrant.
She can't brag about all the anal sex she has and then expect me not to awkwardly stare at her boyfriend when she brings him around
I don't know, I think it's at least a minor achievement when you can light up with the guy who took your virginity and act like you didn't have and incredibly awkward sexual experience together
So here's my pathetic thought of the day: what does it smell like to be sober?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Didn't think the day of being the oldest in a club would be when I'm twenty one. Even the bouncer looked surprised when he ID me.
You know you need to get it together when a frat guy wakes you up and says you need to go to class
Serious question: is he hot or is my vagina just that barren?
SPICY FOODS AND BLOWJOBS DON'T MIX.
YOU SAID YOU'D TRY ANYTHING ONCE YOU LIAR
Good for you, kid with a beer in hand as you walk to your 11 am class.
I thought this was a dry campus.
That means you have to bring your own beer from home.
I just kept eating and watching him slide down the stairs head first
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