Uhhh...do I owe you any money? Or an apology? Or anything?
I have discovered something important. The trick to making food taste better is not always 'more hot sauce'.
ugh. my friday night is playin' Farmville on my face. time to harvest the blackheads...
I have a spoon shaped bruise on my ass...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She just said, "are my livers going to die?"
Hypothetical question: how bad would bacardi be as an IV drip?
death...100% death...what r u planning.
It's not even like I care. He was cute 30lbs ago and before he fucked that Michael Jackson look alike.
I just bought $54 in Easter crap to try and blend in the pregnancy test... And FYI, it totally worked.
I just asked her to come in through the window, this pretty much solidifies the whole fuck-buddy thing...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
things I never thought I would say vol. 24 "Bagpipes just remind me that my relationship is over"
I totally almost forgot you fucked that guy. St. Patty's bar crawls always have a drawback.
He seems like a super lonely dude. I bet if I gave him a picture of my tits he wouldn't make me turn in this paper.
I've just been thinking about sangria a lot lately, like an adult.
My mom added me on Snapchat which means I am officially done with Snapchat.
I woke up with a captain's hat on my desk.
Got upgraded to First Class and now I’ve got the whole Pacific Ocean to seduce the very hot gentleman sitting next to me!!! Door closing, wish me luck!
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