The guy next to me is watching porn. EVERYTIME I COME TO THE LIBRARY SOME RANDOM GUY NEXT TO ME LOOKS AT PORN.
he just referred to himself as the billy mays of his frat.. heres how to order
so... thinking about masturbating finally
taking the losers way out I see
I woke up to him eating cereal out of my viking helmet with a shot glass. No idea where he got the milk.
I was cleaning out my bag and I found some xanax wrapped in plastic with a note that said "use in case of emergency"
We went to his house and he brought a jar of pickles to bed. I think im in love.
Ended the weekend putting away 30 nuggets. Training for 100.
The bartender cut me off so I peed in the corner. How no one noticed I have no idea.
I am trying to think of a way to tell him about thanksgiving and the following weekend in a way that makes me sound funny and exciting and not like an alcoholic
Yeah everyone's alive and well besides the still terrifying threat of Ted's conception of a human being
We can just chill or day drink or smoke or watch law and order marathon or play just dance 4 or watch a movie or go to the movies or play hide and seek or hug, so many options
He is asleep with his dick hanging out of my my little pony pajamas. I am required to wake this man up by blowjob
Your sexual fantasies often terrify me but get a pic
seriously though if NH has the largest penis size... the rest of America must be very disappointed.
I smelled him yesterday and almost relapsed he's like cocaine
He just said "I know you want my cock" and I said nah. I want food bro
Randomize
