She acts like you when your on meds
She acts like batman?
is it bad that the only reason i knew what antidote meant in class today, was from years of playing pokemon?
well i just set every background of each phone in the verizon store to my face
I just made a 90's Nickelodeon TV theme song power hour mix...I don't want to build it up but your head might explode
he thinks the dog can do a keg stand. i will let you know how it turns out
No im the worst roommate ever. Just dump a bucket of water on my head at 8am so i can suffer like i deserve to.
Get your ass over here, we're drinking Patron and watching My Little Pony. Patron and Ponies, do you copy?!
You invited the cop in for a "Celebrity shot"
When you wake up so hungover that you don't even wanna cough for fear of vomiting... It's not gunna be a good day.
Lets now bow our heads and think of girls with ex boyfriends who were great at fingering them. That's so sad.
"Little drunk?" Honey you were "livetweeting" Sublime's "Sublime" album while it was playing in his car, and at one point you said you hoped they play Santeria. "Little drunk" doesn't cover it.
He made a toga out of my hot pink bed sheets and cracked an egg on his head. Then he proceeded to alphabetize our DVD collection, which was impressive because I'm 99% sure he couldn't have done that sober.
Plus he is a pilot so I could give him flight dome
I still blew him because I won't let allergies keep me from doing what I want. But I almost suffocated like 10 times.
Crying in Target on a display sofa is normal, right? Asking for a friend.
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