Btw the nut in my hair goes great with my outfit !!! :(
Tonight, I'm planning on being a bigger trainwreck than Britney Spears circa 2007.
You were in the bathroom for two hours practicing "Revenge Faces".
And by the way, how is me getting head even remotely comparable to you fucking 3 guys?
Of course he got arrested. He was wearing a toga. Even Tom Hanks couldn't act sober in a toga.
I woke up with the new contact "Britney Both Nipples Pierced"... how do you think the night went?
Also, I had a dream I had a ray gun and woke up holding my dick.
dude she looked like Newman from Seinfeld I'm done with this wingman shit
Chicken wings don't come back up an through your nose as easily as you'd think
I peed on his girlfriend's loofah during our post-sex shower.
The upside of a losing football weekend is that there are more sad frat boys willing to let loose their inner gay man.
Signs of a stoner: trying everything in your fridge topped with peanut butter to seek satisfaction.
That dick was not the dick of a twenty year old
He kept apologizing that the nerve damage makes him take a while to finish. Meanwhile he gave me 3 orgasms and a leg cramp
Only you could benefit from a reckless driver
I think I broke my dick but 10/10 would definitely do it again.
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