the doormen always congratulate him in spanish as he walks me downstairs in the morning
i really wish someone from a royal background would fuck me so i could literally say i was 'royally fucked'.
no dont talk to me..because of you my bar tab was more expensive than my hospital bill
She refered to her bed as the "cockpit"....I understand that this morning.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I know it should be off bounds, but can this be the chick we all sleep with at some point? I can write it off as drunken mistake, you all just have to come up with equally good excuses
he called AT&T to make sure that he had insurance before he threw his cell phone into the fountain.
Just ran into that guy that tried to take a dump in your pool
Hungover snowboarding. Puked off the lift and traumatized a group lesson for kids. Crash course on adulthood.
Earned the respect of a group of freshman by chugging Das Boot while hanging out a window and lost it shortly after by wrecking a clown bike into them.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Could someone please explain the rug burn on the right side of my face and do I need a shot of penicillin?
I don't think it counts as a walk of shame when it's someone you've wanted for 4 years. That's mission accomplished.
Stormed out of the house in frustration and now I'm in public and have to take a rage dump. Today sucks.
I didn't know I was invited to an orgy.
I'm recreating the you're a wizard harry video with a guy on snapchat whilst having snapchat sex with another... Adulting is fun
She made me baby bird juul smoke to her while we were fucking
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