i dont know what it is, i just found it in my pants.
Sorry, I don't speak sober.
Don't be a dummy cum on the tummy. Make her a slut, and cum in her butt. Have no fear, jizz in her ear. Don't be a noob, cum on her boob. Forget her rack, blow on her back. Just take off your coat and jizz in her throat. And if she seals off her holes, cum in her rolls
is that a poem?!
I just found her phone in the quesadilla maker...
i definitely just woke up with half of a cigarette tucked underneath my balls. Last night must have been interesting
I dont think yelling "Grab your dicks, time for pics!" helped your case either.
My mom opened up my bank statement today....my first alcohol intervention class is at 7:30am tomorrow.
I'll have party bus drop you off in the morning.
He also gave me two gold stars for sex. On my nipples.
I made $130 by ordering two pizzas and charging them $10 a slice. If they weren't so stoned they might have realized they could have just ordered another pizza for $20.
She looks like a Midwestern news anchor that got fired so she has done nothing but eat for the past 6 months.
He didn't call me beautiful but he came in less than five minutes so same thing, right?
Congrats. You made me have an orgasm in Starbucks.
He motorboated me, gave me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, then disappeared into the night.
Find him and marry him.
I smell like cotton candy and guilt.
There were no words. I got in his car, took my pants off, threw my shirt out the window, and got things started. After we were done I collected my clothes, gave him a kiss, and crept back into my house.
You're like the sex ninja. How doesn't he love you?!
Randomize
