Maybe my heart is located in my vagina
You guys need to stop introducing me as "the girl you shared"
You know, he picked a really shitty time to stop sleeping with me to pay attention to his girlfriend.
Wasted on the beach. There's children everywhere. A six year old girl even stood over me with her hands on her waist looking down on me as I was passing out by the water
I can't believe I've come to a point in my life where sex for a birthday present is acceptable
If he breaks up with me, your job is to keep me drunk and make sure I don't sleep with anyone. Ok?
It's ok. I will share any beautiful men that I drug and leave unconscious on my bed. I'm that kind of friend.
Had sex with one of the guys from Ireland. Celebrating st pattys early.
Today's goal is to get out of bed, before I take a shit. This might be hard
Pass or fail tho
He did 5 five hand stand push ups and took off his shirt for a barbarian flex. Some girl took off her shirt and threw it at him
I think I'm just going to go like every guy on tinder who has a jetski. I'm doing this for us, Summer is coming.
i sent him a nude and he responded 6 hours later
what did he say?
"oh m god,,, whow '!!!!nm"
I hooked up with a sophomore, passed out at midnight, and apparently drunkenly peed on Nicole's wedding invitation
is caitlin alive?
ya she's alive she's watching a movie
ok remind her she drank toilet water then.
I don't want them thinking I'm like, "Mm, yeah, kitchenware in my ass please."
Randomize
