Did we have sex last night?
I think that was the general idea until I got you undressed and you puked on me.
sooo my mom just yelled up the stairs " you left your bowl down by the computer"....aaand for a second I forgot cereal bowls still existed
I'm at the grocery store buying monistat and corn nuts. thank god for self check out.
Not even close. I woke up in the bed of Codys truck. Wrapped up in a sleeping bed, using a stuffed alligator as a pillow. And Alex was laying naked beside me. Not to mention I wasn't wearing the clothes I got there in.
I could hear them screwing through my bedroom wall again this morning, so I started beat boxing to the tempo.
He's dressed as a power ranger handing out cocaine
Sometimes crazy just comes naturally. I don't need booze to say that on occasion I feel the need to rip off my asshole and throw it against the fridge to see if it sticks.
I sat down next to him and my bra just unhooked itself
Almost bit the guy's hand who sits in front of me because he was stretching. That. Bored.
When I said tequila slammers would be the death of me, I didn't intend it to be today. Oh god.
New drinking game: Drink while you Drink. I'll explain the rules when I see you, needless to say, it's not difficult. Unless you enjoy sobriety, humanity and life. Bestest.
I have fence marks all over my body
We were like one big happy Eskimo family.
Don't get mad but There's blood everywhere and the only thing I remember is the bj from your cousin.
oh.. my GOD my dad just text me... "i need a naked women" ........... help?
Randomize
