Leaving terminator. dude in front of us leaving was wearing a baggy micael vick jersey, cargo shorts and brown crocs. God I hate people.
I should just throw a hundred dollar bill into the wind and walk away... save myself the hangover.
I have to brush my teeth today to feel like I did something.
Suck a a big bag of reindeer cock bud. Sent from church. See you in hell
I reached in my backpack to pull out my laptop. I found my bottle of Jack and 2 bottles of Coke. It's going to be a good class.
I think it is impossible 2 take a person seriously when their last name is Pancake
Medicore although I woke up with the business card of a Turkish lawyer called Mufasa...
i like how i just referred to his pregnant wife as the "other" melissa and you didn't even judge me.
a guy tried paying for lapdances with cds, who uses those anymore?
Delete that photo of me. My ass looks WAY to good it in to be on Facebook for everyone to see. You gotta earn that shit.
For the record, just because I'm a mess doesn't mean I don't know what I'm talking about when I give you advice. I'm way better at other people's lives.
So I'm getting really old. I feel asleep for a booty call that I initiated. The struggle is real.
Well my mom knows that the welt I had on my forehead last month was the result of a sex accident. This holiday sucks
Just spilled beer all over my bed. Should cut myself off, but instead I just took my shirt off and used it as a towel.
I'm alone, 3 beers in, and cutting tshirts into belly tops.
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