Good face, no body. And apparently her vagina is related to chewbaca.
wtf. i just found you're porn stash.
u like it?
NOT THE POINT.
we should wear snuggies to the strip club
We just passed a billboard that said to join "jerseydoesntstink.com" and literally 15 seconds later, we could smell jersey.
I may have pooped in your shoe. or somewhere else in your closet. its unclear.
If it wasn't obvious enough to the cops that she was drunk, she threw in, "I like the colors of the lights because it makes purple."
I will no longer accept being cock blocked in my own bed.
I need you to help me convince Steph that she will like Tequila if she would chase it with A-1
Because he's your one night stand I shouldn't feel obligated to extend social media to him
I don't even see the point of going over to his place dressed anymore.
I hope you fall on your chin.
Jealousy makes you ugly.
Did we smoke in a portapotty last night? And if so, do you think the brown stuff covering my body is actually dirt?
dude his girlfriend left the meanest shit just marinating in our toilet. I'm gonna have to snap chat this out, theres no other option. prepare yourself
I got to her place and she was petting her cat and pounding vodka out of the bottle. She looked like Dr evil in yoga pants. She's nuttier than squirrell shit.
how early is too early to start drinking over the gilmore girls revival
I'm so horny right now but I JUST put my fuckin lasagna in the oven
Randomize
