If she sees it and stops hooking up w/ me then you owe me
well yea, now i know i won't get hair in my teeth...
he kept his composure pretty well until he puked on the cop car
it was either that or behind a dumpster, and i am way too pretty to pee behind a dumpster
Its official. Girls from Indiana do not give rim jobs.
Never thought I'd say this but I just want to go home, ice my balls, and pop a Vicodin.
We need to put it on a rope attached to the bong, so it can't be dropped. Apparently, you need a stem safety leash.
She sucks. And I almost hooked up with a clown last night
Lead with your genitals is the best advice I can give you.
Have bite marks on my arm where my temporary tat was Saturday night. Did someone try to bite Captain America or something?
One of the many mysteries surrounding the weekend...
No more margaritas for you. Also, tequila should be reclassified as a hallucinogen.
Maybe next year when I'm 30 I will be over puking at lunch on Fridays. Maybe
Oh we were great hosts that night. We made sure to leave all the beds open by passing out on the bathroom floors instead.
I woke up in my basement holding someone else's underwear and a bottle of mouthwash . I wish I could explain more than that but i can't remember ...
On the plus side, he ate me out and gave me an orgasm. But he also talked about robots during sex and mispronounced it like the dad in the goldbergs and called them “robits”
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