you better believe me or I'll punch you in the face
I can’t believe the potential orgy I left behind at Waffle House.
good news. it is gonna rain tomorrow so now I don't have to pay to clean the puke off the side of your car.
Using a Nedi Pot after doing lines... at least I'm a health conscious drug user?
You convinced us both to take shots of jack Daniels through our eyes.
you pushed her into a kiddie pool and knocked out her front teeth... and you still managed to get laid. what. the. fuck.
got high to the hills theme song. FEEL THE RAIN ON YOUR SKIN. no regrets.
He just showed me how to break a chop stick with his ass.
you were making out with a guy that looked like Fat Albert, I kicked you in the vagina but you didn't stop
I thought he put a fake swan in my yard, but no, he put a real life swan in my yard
Um, would you be up for dick jousting? Stefanie is willing to pay 40 bucks.
My husband has seen you naked more times this week than me. I don't consider it a bad thing since you keep bringing the booze to our house. And because my tits are bigger.
I stepped in puke last night then washed it off my shoe with beer. Is there a grace period to respect before wearing them to class?
why the hell did we go to a rave last night?
we didn't?
definitely went to a bar with strobe lights
JENNIFER. You passed out in a toilet with a color changing light in it.
she broke a 50 dollar bottle of alcohol. then passed out in front of her car and got sprayed by a skunk
Randomize
