is it bad that the economy has gotten so bad that finding cheap gas gives me the same excitement and joy as finding a hot, blonde haired, blue eyed, tall, athletic single straight guy?
Add "its too hot" to reasons why I don't get fucked anymore
He is drunkenly eating my teddy grahms and making little growling noises as he bites the head off of each one.
Woke up. Made a pizza. Burnt it. Going back to bed cuz today sucks
My fingers feel amazing. Their going like 100 MPH!!
HOLY SHIT. SHIT THAT IS HOLY. HOLY OF THE SHIT.
I woke up in an empty bathtub with the wrong brother
Sorry for rubbing my feet on you and repeating "good pony, stay."
It's all a blur. I just remember holding some strangers baby
Yah. Thai people are way too trusting
He said he cried as he watched porn yesterday; I'd say he's taking the break-up pretty bad....
Neighbour is sobbing. Difficult to masturbate.
Then a third Canadian I didn't know showed up to the hotel room at like 3am. I let him sleep in our bed because he had pizza.
I put on pants and a bra for you and you never showed up. There is no forgiveness for that.
I woke up with a dread of barbecue sauce in my hair. Drunk munchies makes me a disgusting person.
I gave her two orgasms and then we laid there and she ate jelly beans out of my belly button...that girls a keeper
I feel a blackout coming on
Plz don't have me burst into your house saying you're late for re airport to rescue you from a fat girl again
That was 2 times
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