where are you?
in the room with the baby pig
k im coming soon
listening to techno makes your hand move faster while masterbating
I just puked into a plastic bag at a red light. Go me.
I am not a stalker...i just bring a whole new meaning to the word love
You get to witness red pubes. I'm almost jealous. That's like my dream.
Cool, so I just walked in on my grandfather checking his prostate in the kitchen.
I mean he's a cool ass guy, but he's genuinely in love with a fat chick. I just can't take him seriously as a person.
The creepiest man is serenading me at the bar right now. I had about a quarter of a drink left and the bartender just walked over and filled it with vodka and walked away laughing.
You need to call dibs on the blond with the tits. It's your birthday.
Haha hell yea
Because if someone gets to see those.. It should be you. It's like God telling you Happy Birthday.
You were great dude. You wanted to charge the guy with fedora $100 to get in.
Holy. Fuck. This mans mouth is magical. I love married men. I don't have to teach them.
Just set the kids up with doughnuts downstairs so I could go up and masturbate uninterrupted. I am such a good mom.
I found my bra I wore on Friday night...he fucked the underwire out of it
hahahahaha
You waddled all the way home with your shoes in a construction cone. I'm glad to call you my Bestfriend.
My fuck it list is complete! I finally got a firefighter!
Randomize
