we went to a bar last night, drank beer in plastic cups. I took pics w/a random kid i pulled into a photobooth & i have easy mac in my purse. I belong here.
My place. Tomorrow Night. Bring your liver, and something for it to do.
I took her to see 2012 then broke up with her, the movie was a metaphor.
Hey just to warn you theres a really fat guy passed out in front of our front door snoring. Don't touch him, he's in god's hands now.
Idk he's just laying there passed out with a French fry up his nose and without any pants on. Boner and everything.
Ive seen him cuddling a giant inflatable seahorse. Nothing could be creepier than that.
Absinthe night with my dad again, I could get used to this being home thing.
Oh I love our desires, it's riding my bike at 2 AM with a massive erection that I dislike.
I. Did. In fact. Sprain. My liver. This. Weekend.
Yeah its great. Whenever we want a new bowl we hand it to Trevor and he clears it in one hit. Definitely one of the benefits to having a swimmer in your circle.
I was about to share my drunken story from the weekend, but two friends getting married and one finding out she's pregnant makes Saturday in jail look a little suspect.
I'm going to bed early so football can come sooner
I legit just swiped right with a Tinder feminist just to get in an argument with her. Soo that's my Friday night so far...
I am literally this close to screaming out my window if anyone nearby was down to fuck. I am too damn horny.
When we got into his bed, his damn parrot started making sex noises in the other room
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