god is playing jersey shore on new years on purpose. he wants me to play drinking games and die. i wish he knew how serious this is.
I hit her tiny dog with a horseshoe an hour ago. Her and her mom cried as it laid on the ground shaking. Im drunk.
Just saw all the pictures from the party. I'm wearing a different shirt in every single one.
I don't really want to have sex with him, I'd just want him in a threesome. Does that make sense?
Meanwhile she's getting her law degree and I'm dropping Cool Ranch Doritos down my bra because I'm laying down eating on the couch
Last night was a "wash hands with dog shampoo" kind of night
I'm trying to get laid this Halloween, not inspire the next season of AHS
I have commenced my lesbian college experimentation. Wish me luck
If it snows I'm making an igloo and getting wasted in it
I love how encouraging you are, but I need you to stop me when the guy I'm going home with is a dead ringer for Nick Cage.
Also so weird my phone cracked after I repeatedly threw it at the ground as hard as possible
i'm now remembering the last part of my nigght....ugh. apperently i bargained with the wendys drive up girl after they closed and got "w/e they had left" for $7
What are you gunna do with your life today
put it back together
There way too many people in that club who have had their dick in me
My roommate made maccoroni last nigh dropped the bowl off the counter knocking it into the dog bowl he picked up the dog bowl and started eating it claiming it was te worst Mac and cheese ever and if he wasnt so high he would stop eating it hahahaha
Randomize
