I just saw a girl play flip cup with only her tongue
I'm in love
I went to his work to give him some blankets and ended up blowing him in the bathroom. See what happens when you don't come over?
God dammit, you have a cape and I don't even have a fucking jacket.
I'm getting to the point of going up to a guy and saying "Hi I'm maggie and i can put my foot behind my head"... That desperate.
After giving a back rub to someone in the bathroom of the theater, he ripped an "employees must wash hands" sign off the wall to prove that he could and proceeded to hang it up in his house.
He went 'unicorn hunting' and lost a fight with a fence. That's how he ended up in the ER.
She sent pictures and the names of her 2 cats and her dog and told me that I should be happy to have met the whole family.
You must be good in bed dude
Fuck edible panties there is a dress made out of bacon
He's against "violent sex" cause apparently my body is "sacred". Like dude I'm about to tell you about blowing your brother just so you'll fuck me like an animal Jesus Christ....
Can you send me the pic of me puking with a quesadilla on my shoulder
I went shopping for a dress that was baptism and bar appropriate.
I am the fucking FIFTH wheel. How do you think it's going?
She acted like falling "up" the stairs was a fucking physics phenomenon. I call that Tuesday nights.
are you watching the world series?
I've made out with alex bregman... so yes
This is a long quiet interstate without somebody to sext.
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