Also I got A jello shot for $2!!! It's like the forever 21 of bars
The only thing the cop asked me is..... "how are you still alive"?
Just found a "how to get laid" book on the dresser and am now a victim of method number 16 corollary 7.
walking around pouring bird seed on passed out guys in the quad.
she's sitting in the bathroom of SA telling people to come in for a toilet ride
I'm not sure whom I'm texting but I put you in my phone as last nights fuck budy, and I'm just curious if I left my clutch with you?
I yelled kanye while he was fucking me. It just felt right
Your brother just walked into my room, pissed drunk and butt naked, got into my bed and fell asleep. In knowing I am gay, you have one hour to deal with him before I do
After getting kicked out of the bar, you proceeded to McDonald's, ordered 30 nuggets, slammed them all back in 5 minutes and then stole 3 traffic cones...how you only got charged with drunk in public is beyond me.
Last night I went outside to our neighbors and asked them to put in money with me to get a hot tub for our patio. Niceeeee
Nah it's alright, I'll just ride cock all the way to hell
Have you forgotten that this whole sexy cop role play started with a comment about my mom?
The end of the friendship was inevitable. I hooked up with her cousin and forgot to mention it to her
so at target i bought condoms, on sale undies, pasta roni, and martini mix. the old lady who rang me up asked "honey are you a freshman?" yea lady i am, thanks.
Left him blackout in the cab, gave 20$ to the cabbie and said drive until the meter said he wasn't getting a tip.
Bangkok has him now.
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