you turned your livingroom into a bong?
You told me alcohol would be the death of you then ordered 10 shots of tequila.
they're using the ping pong table for ping pong. it's weird
High enough to fry lime slices.....tasted like shit, by the way
i yelled out "tuesday" during orgasim. he fucked me into 2 days from now.
Wanna tell me why vodka seeped out of the memory foam when I climbed into my bed?
Some guy thought i was the waitress and handed me his credit card. drinks on me.
If man night ends at some point, hit me up and let me prove my vagina still exists.
God, you're amazing. I just want to hang out with you in the nude and watch Monty Python movies whilst we quip about how comedians just aren't as funny anymore.
Credit for originality. Points off for a mild to moderate creepy factor.
I'm so jealous of your sex life. You know it's awesome when thinking about the sex you had last night brings you tears of joy.
Who's the captain of your team? Captain Morgan as usual?
And me
I woke up with a hangover and a man bun. Reached over to drink water and accidentally chugged raspberry vodka. So there's that.
Stay home. Ain't nothing out in these mean streets but plan b and regret
just so you know they found you begging for money at the L station. What the fuck did you drink last night?
I just realized I have a habit of pre gaming for therapy visits. Problem?
We'll discuss it when you get here
Randomize
