Passing las posas road. In a world of pain. Im trying to piss in a bottle through the hole in my crotch. I wish i had a bigger dick.
Can I use you as a job reference? Don't tell them i got you fired cause I banged you tho
I am way too high for this. Some guy just keeps talking about music and life goals and he apparently has lived in every city we mention we are going
If I sleep with another Spanish guy it is officially renamed my senor year.
He woke me up at 3 am kneeling on the floor pissing and yelling, then he passed out and stole my comforter. I want a new roommate...
he just texted me saying he needs a place to stay for the night. pretty sure i just got booty called to my own house...
Just had the moment before I realised I'd packed you off in an ambulance last night after funnel-feeding you Monster and vodka. Your mom thinks I'm a dick doesn't she?
Is there really anything more beautiful than opening a fresh box of wine on a Friday afternoon?
I have to bobbypin his pubes for us to have sex. The other day he wanted me to braid them.
I am his drunk Jesus. I will love him from afar because he's my little lamb
They have some sort of agreement that they can sleep with other people if it helps then achieve their goal, or something like that
How awkward
Yeah it's pretty fucked up
If I had a dollar for every straight boy that questioned their sexuality because of me, I would live a comfortable middle-class life.
I wore the clothes I got arrested in last night to work today.....there is no where but up from here!
Two days ago a random guy asked me to sign his forehead 'cause he wanted to have the name of the prettiest girl in the bar on him and never wash it. I just saw him and my signature still there...
Either im seeing the northern lightgs, someone is having a rave, or im on acid.. Im most likely on acid
Randomize
