yeah, we don't understand. the wings losing for guys is like girls finding objects in their body..just weird and sad
No, drunk sperm still make babies.
It's sad that I have started checking out the ring finger before the rack...I'm getting old
Well, it's 24 hours till finals. I need high A's on all of them and I still am not sure where exactly on campus most of my classes took place.
separated laundry into 'got laid' and 'didn't get laid' piles.
Pass out mid-funnel last night.
At least it earned you a couple drinks. And something tells me you've touched grosser things with less incentive.
I've gotta stop getting kicked out of bars for fighting with people over the accuracy of the Harry Potter movie.
Am I the only one that feels like there are hundreds of tiny people having a rave and stomping and kicking around inside my head this morning?
I thought turtle was a code word for weed until he pulled out a baby turtle from his pocket and said "$20 for a turtle"
I used my iced coffee to ice the bump on my head from last night
so you ordered business cards online last night with a picture of your dick on them. you need to hide that new credit card when you drink
I just want my kids to know I fucked some really hot dudes before their father.
You're going to scar your kids
in the middle of telling this chick to sober up i was shotgunning beers. im gonna be ab awsome nurse.
He has a bear rug in his room. I'm going to ask if we can have sex on it. Wilderness sex.
Randomize
