just do it
fine only cuz shes asian
Well listen chief - never again do i want the scenario of going to the ER totally naked and partially drunk to b a possibility.
Hard to imagine a reason apart from blow jobs that I'm awake at 530 am.
Friend I haven't seen in almost a year just IMed me to let me know that my mom stuck her boob out the window on the freeway at her.
Her mom responded by mooning my mother. I really don't know what's worse.
We turned everything surrounding BP and the oil leak into a "that's what she said" drinking game. We've been drunk for a month
You insisted I take photos of you vomiting off the top of the tree.
It was awesome explaining why I had a tiger with boxers in my bed, a little bit drunk, to a girl in a pre-sex moment
fun fact #6 about tuesday nights: giving head with two 40s taped to your hands is not as easy as you would think
I had to drink a couple beers this morning so I could attend the keg race. Hangover had to dissipate or it wasn't happening.
All i hear is "BITCH BETTER HAVE MY HONEY" and i turn around and there is a dude in a bear costume. It was fur real.
I woke up in a bath tub and my face was sore and it wasn't because of you, I was impressed
Somewhere out there, on several phones belonging to strangers, exists a video of me rapping Baby Got Back on stage in four inch heels that I stole from the drag queen. Also I made out with the chick with the octopus tattoo.
You have the best birthdays
ARE YOU OKAY?
Physically? Yes. Morally? No.
Guy running next to me at the gym is judging me. I think he can smell the whiskey leaking out of my pores.
I just met him at a place called the meat farm, Jesus be a shield.
Randomize
